What those proposals really mean
From a218@mindlink.UUCP Thu Sep 21 11:21:53 1989
From: a218@mindlink.UUCP (Charlie Gibbs)
Subject: What those proposals really mean
I came across this while cleaning out some old files...
| PROPOSAL PHRASE |
MEANING |
You are fortunate indeed to have
contacted a manufacturer who can
deliver the equipment within the
six-month delivery period, which
we estimate you require.
|
If we don't get some revenue
from you this year we won't
make our budget.
|
We have carried out an exhaustive
and comprehensive survey of your
problems.
|
Look at the number of times
we've taken you to lunch.
|
Furthermore, in a multiprogramming
environment,two machines would offer
an element of parallel processing
which would not otherwise be possible
on any computer equipment you are
likely to consider.
|
We can't do it on one machine.
|
We cannot overemphasize the
importance of this decimal
arithmetic capability.
|
We have no floating-point
hardware.
|
Our third-generation equipment
provides the highest standard of
reliability.
|
There will be no local backup.
|
While we have not been shown detail
flow charts and description of your
production control systems, we
estimate that the computer time
required each week should not exceed
four hours.
|
We can't understand your
specification, but the last
one we did took four hours.
|
No detailed knowledge of the
interface to the communications
network is required by the user's
programming staff.
|
You will have to hire
a specialist who can
understand it.
|
Using our high-level COBOL compiler
programs can now be written in the
English language.
|
02 NICTRB REDEFINES SLSGTB
PIC X(30).
|
This particular peripheral is
available on a purchase-only basis.
|
We don't make it, and never
want to see it again once
you have bought it.
|
Local backup with comparable
installations will be provided.
|
We are hoping to sell a
similar configuration to
another company 350 miles
away.
|
The software we have recommended is
in the advanced development stage.
|
We will start writing it as
soon as you sign the order.
|
The equipment can be delivered to
suit your requirements, but we
estimate that you will not be ready
to take delivery until considerable
systems work has been carried out.
|
We cannot deliver a machine
for two years.
|
Independent assessment has rated
our data preparation equipment
among the best available.
|
If you don't want our computer
please buy our keypunches.
|
In accordance with our policy of
progressive improvement, the right
is reserved to alter any detail of
price, specification, or terms
without notice.
|
We hereby divest ourselves of
any responsibility for what we
have said, written, or are
about to say or write.
|
| (Taken from the October 1968 issue of
Datamation) |
