Taking the fun out of trolling: the killfile (a.k.a. plonking)

Instructions: the following form is provided for your plonking comfort. You may use it on internet boards, forums, etc. any time you meet our old friend Dick from the internet. Just copy and paste to let Dick know that whatever residual interest you had in him is exhausted, and you'll no longer be able to hear him making an ass of him/herself. My rule of thumb is: 

1. Send a violation notice and disengage from direct interaction on first offence  
2. Send a further notice and plonk on repeat violation (that's two strikes, and you're out - you don't really need three for this kind of scum)

Obviously, you don't have to warn trolls that you're plonking them, but doing it gives a nice closure feeling, and explicitly classifies as childish and useless further attempts of the trolls to contact you. Just be sure to never resume contact with the plonked individual unless a very long time has passed (and even then, I wouldn't, but that's me). Don't overdo this or you'll soon run out of people to talk to.

Above all, don't be like Dick, and  be sure to follow the house rules yourself. Always follow the house rules.

License: CC-BY-NC-ND

Welcome to my killfile!

I am writing this to inform you that you finally made it: you have been plonked. Most people never get even close to this place, but you are such a special person, and this place fits you to a T. This a moment to celebrate both as an achievement and as the last time we get a chance to talk (actually, that last chance is already gone for you).

This place has many names: the bitbucket, /dev/null, the ignore list... but I love our internet traditions, and I like its grim original name: killfile.

So,now you're here, look around. 

Make yourself at home. 

Have conversations (with yourself).

If you feel like it, feel free to behave like a jerk (I know that's a natural to you).

Or, just keep trolling away as you usually do.

Don't worry, I won't mind. As a matter of fact, I won't be even able to hear you - that's what killfiles are for.

Please note: this is a form letter.

Taking the fun out of trolling: violation notice

Instructions: the following form is provided for your comfort. You may use it on internet boards, forums, etc. any time you meet our old friend Dick from the internet. Just copy, paste and customize as applicable, any time you sense the trolling is beginning (be hip to the subtler forms of this dark art). After that, disengage from any followup discussion (that's the whole point, really) and enjoy the ensuing peace of mind. Don't overdo it, and trim the form to the actual offense(s). My rule of thumb is: 

1. Send this violation notice and disengage from direct interaction on first offence  
2. Send a further notice, followed by a killfile notice and a plonk on repeat violation (that's two strikes, and you're out - you don't really need three for this kind of scum)

Above all, don't be like Dick, and  be sure to follow the house rules yourself. Always follow the house rules.

License: CC-BY-NC-ND

Cheers.

Unfortunately, you have been found in violation of the house rules.

Your specific violations are : (check all that apply)

1.1 Being a troll
1.2 Being a dick
1.3 Being a jerk
2.1 Insulting people
2.2 Making personal remarks
2.3 Making a nuisance of yourself
2.4 Behaving like a juvenile while not being one (If you are younger than 15, please declare it and this violation will be struck from your record.)
3.1 Being irrational
3.2 Being rude

In addition, you have aggravated your position by: (check all that apply)

doxxing

net-stalking

being asinine beyond belief

writing statements that would be best addressed in a court of law

exhibiting extremely low literacy and reading-comprehension skills

behaving in the volatile manner typical of sufferers of a major neurological damage or disorder

proving, beyond reasonable doubt, of being incapable of coherent (let alone, rational) thought

displaying appalling amounts of ignorance and intellectual inadequacy, even for an internet post (quite a feat).

Other:................................................................

This user abides by the house rules, and will therefore terminate this thread and disable further notifications, so you can safely engage in writing pathetic parting shots (usual with your kind) without bothering him/her any further. At this user's discretion, you may, now or in the future, with or without warning, be added to the user's kill file/ignore list (Wikipedia search: plonk) where you'll be able to make an ass of yourself, without being heard.

Have a nice day.

Please note: this is a form letter

Antiboldrinista

Non molto tempo fa, è stato chiesto su facebook:

"Ma perché (vi) dà tanto fastidio Laura Boldrini?"

In effetti più che una domanda era un quiz, e la risposta esatta (come era facile immaginare, per chi conosce il pulpito  - che non rivelerò - da cui viene la predica) era:

"Perchè LB è una donna intellligente, preparata, di successo e di sinistra che dice cose femministe, e chi non l'ha in grande simpatia è  uno scarafaggio sessista."

La domanda però, se presa alla lettera, ha una sua forza maieutica, e mi ha fatto pensare al perchè anch'io sono nel novero degli scarafaggi di cui sopra.

Laura Boldrini, in sintesi, non mi piace perchè ha uno dei  difetti cardine dei politici italiani: ogni volta che immagina il suo intervento nella società è per imporre una regola, creare una fattispecie di reato, inventare un meccanismo o un organismo di controllo. Per "tutelare" un diritto passivo, purché sia  caro alla Sig. Boldrini, si possono tranquillamente limitare, regolare pesantemente, o sopprimere,  diritti attivi (ad esempio, il diritto di scegliere le parole che si preferiscono, il diritto di libera associazione, quello di espressione del proprio pensiero anche se, magari, odioso o odiante).

Mai una volta che Boldrini si esprima ipotizzando una nuova possibilità, una nuova libertà o auspicando la rimozione di un controllo, obbligo, imposizione  (che in questo BelPaese sono in numero tale da indurmi a ringraziare la nostra inefficienza nell'applicarli; se li applicassimo tutti, temo diventeremmo istantaneamente uno stato di polizia)

Questo basterebbe, ma la nostra Presidentessa della Camera vi aggiunge il sussiego e la stentoreità propria di chi ha la verità in tutte le tasche del tailleur.

Tutto questo, unito al presenzialismo connaturato al ruolo istituzionale che la Signora ricopre, mi impedisce di apprezzarne le prese di posizione, e fa di me uno scarafaggio - e sessista  per di più.